What Were You Thinking…

Author: Beth Zanotelli, Family Life Coordinator for the Diocese of Palm Beach

A wise priest recently spoke about parenting in his homily.  He said, “When your kids do something wrong rather than asking them, ‘What were you thinking?’…ask them, ‘What did you expect would happen?’”.  It is a great question that can help all of us learn from our mistakes.  This question causes us to intentionally think about our actions, something we could all benefit from!  This question makes a case for being intentional and thinking before we act. Perhaps we would make fewer poor choices if we paused to think about the outcome of our actions more often and before we acted. It is important to consider that the outcome of our actions most often affects someone else’s life.  Think about selfish actions like gossip, being judgmental, even speeding; on the positive side, think about giving a gift, saying something kind, offering help, or stopping when the light turns yellow.  Each of these actions affects another person. Perhaps we should think of others more than we think of ourselves!  Being more intentional in our actions, making ourselves a gift to others, thinking before we act and speak.  All these things seem simple enough!

How can we be more intentional?  At the beginning of the day, wake up thinking of the actions that will glorify God.  We can offer our day to the Lord by saying, “This day is Yours, God – I give it to you!” We can think of ways to sacrifice for others, instead of ways to personally gain. We can ask ourselves, “What do I expect will happen?”

At the end of the day, we can do an examination of conscience.  We can take time to think about the things that happened during the day; Ask ourselves if we thought before we acted; Ask ourselves how we impacted the life of another; ask ourselves if things turned out the way we expected…would God be glorified by our actions? 

“What did we expect would happen?”, makes a great question for an examination of conscience before the Sacrament of Reconciliation.  What did we think would happen if we were lazy and didn’t go to mass?  What did we expect to happen when we judged someone by how they looked, or what they did?  What did we expect to happen when we gossiped?  What did we expect would happen when we ignored someone or cast them aside because we were too busy? What did we expect to happen when _______? Fill in the blanks.

Here’s what the scriptures have to say:

Ephesians 5:15-17 – Watch carefully then how you live, not as foolish persons but as wise, making the most of the opportunity, because the days are evil.  Therefore, do not continue in ignorance, but try to understand what is the will of the Lord.

1 Corinthians 10:31 – So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God.

John 15:13 – No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

Hebrews 10:24-25 – We must consider how to rouse one another to love and good works.  We should not stay away from our assembly, as is the custom of some, but encourage one another, and this all the more as you see the day drawing near.

Philippians 3:13-14 – Brothers, I for my part do not consider myself to have taken possession.  Just one thing:  forgetting what lies behind but straining forward to what lies ahead, I continue my pursuit toward the goal, the prize of God’s upward calling, in Christ Jesus.

Ephesians 4:32 – And be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another as God has forgiven you in Christ.