A Yoked Marriage!

In Matthew 11:28-30 Jesus says, “Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”  The word “yoke”, used many times in scripture, is a wooden beam that is fitted around oxen necks to equip and empower them to carry loads and do the work they need to do on their farm.  There are two holes or spaces for each ox to put its neck and somewhere in the middle is a bar or rope for the farmer who oversees directing them to accomplish their task.  Keep this image in mind as you read on…

We are not called to be perfect; we are called to be holy.  How do we pass this message to our families? What does holiness look like?

The first thing to reflect on when asking these questions is how do you as husband and wife, live your faith together?  The Gospel of Matthew is telling us that we are to be “yoked” with the Father.  In marriage, we have the image of the husband and wife being yoked together with God as the couple’s guide. That is, the couple helps each other, and works together with the guidance of the Father.  A spouse is never to manipulate or control, rather, a spouse is to be as a gift to the other. With the yoke, God gives them the graces to persevere. Together they are to be a gift to the Lord asking, how can I be loved by you, Lord?  God is loving us by directing us away from harm and giving us order and especially, letting us rest.  Like the relationship of the oxen and the farmer, when a man and a woman are married, they invite God into their relationship to guide them.  If God is not in their relationship it can unravel into conflict and defiance. On the contrary, with Him, it can be beautiful, calm, loving, peaceful, and accepting.  This is an image of marriage we need to pass on to our children, to model this love just as God has modeled for us.  In our Catholic faith, marriage is a Sacramental union of a man, a woman, and God.   Marriage is the foundation of the family, the domestic church.

God uses His Word like a yoke to guide us.  In Ephesians 6:4, God provides us with parenting instructions: “Fathers (parents), do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up with the training and instruction of the Lord.” It is our job as parents to present knowledge, opportunities, and encounters so that our children can see the beauty that comes from life with Christ.  Your children are not yoked in your marriage with you, but they are watching to see how you follow Him.  Finally, but perhaps the most important advice comes from Ephesians 6:18 – “With all prayer and supplication, pray at every opportunity in the Spirit.”  Take time to pray with your spouse and especially with your family, in the morning offer your day to God, at meals pray a blessing over your food and your family, when you drop them off at school  (virtual or in person) pray for a good day, at bedtime a prayer of thanksgiving for the trials and blessings of the day.  Consider praying a rosary, once a week as a family. Look to God with awe and wonder; you may be burdened today, but taking God’s yoke, He will give you rest.

What does the Church and Scripture have to say?

Matthew 11:28-30 – Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Ephesians 6:4 – Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up with the training and instruction of the Lord.

Ephesians 6:18 – With all prayer and supplication, pray at every opportunity in the Spirit.